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Iím a former XXX actress and was called ďone of the smallest, youngest and cutest porn stars in the business. Iím 4í11, really short and weigh in the 90ís. Iíve starred mostly in ďteenĒ porn, which means fans liked me because I looked ďbarely legalĒ. I left porn in September, 2007.
My life can be summed up in one word: ABUSE!
The porn industry was a shock. My first two scenes I didnít know what to do. I just stabilized and went along with what everyone else was doing. After that, I was like, throw me in Iím ready to go.
Tanya did 20 scenes in her first month.
My scenes involved extreme videos with very hard sex acts with several performers at the same time.
Iím just tired of the industry. The way they treat you as though we are just a piece of meat. That we donít have a mind and our body is everybodyís and we have no soul. Guys punching you in the face. You have semen from many guys all over your face, in your eyes. You get ripped. Your insides can come out of you. Itís never ending. Youíre viewed as an object and not as a human with a spirit. People donít care. People do drugs because they canít deal with the way they are being treated.
Seventy five percent and rising are using drugs. Have to numb themselves. There are specific doctors in this industry that if you go in for a common cold theyíll give you Vicodin, Viagra, anything you want because all they care about is the money. You are a number. Youíre bruised. You have black eyes. Youíre ripped. Youíre torn. You have your insides coming out. Itís not pretty and foofoo on set. You get hurt.
The main thing going around now is crystal meth, cocaine and heroin. You have to numb yourself to go on set. The more you work, the more you have to numb yourself. The more you become addicted, the more your personal life is nothing but drugs. Your whole life becomes nothing but porn.
I was a drinker. I drank a lot. Vodka was my drug. Vodka was my numbing toy. Before sets, after sets, and if it was a set where people didnít care, theyíd have it there waiting.
You may see a 45-minute set that took us 13 hours. Weíre ripped, weíre tired, weíre sore, weíre bleeding, weíre cut up, we have dried semen all over our faces from numerous guys and we canít wash it off because they want to take pictures. You have this stuff all over you and theyíre telling you, ďHold it.Ē It is never straight flowing sex.
Four words girls can say are: Stop, Halt, Pain and Donít. You can say anything you want and they donítí listen. Thereís the ultimate thing where you squeeze their leg to ease up and most of them donít care. They have another scene to go to. Itís all about the money. Theyíve forgotten who they are and they donít care who they are hurting.
Iím on the road right now heading to a different life. Iím going to try to make it as a normal person because Iím done. You have no soul in the porn industry.
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