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Iím a former porn actress who did over 200 movies. I grew up in Pittsburgh and started stripping there while in school. I saw porn stars stripping and thought it was glamorous and thought it was an easy way to fame and fortune.
So, I got an agent and he set up my first scenes in California leaving my daughter behind with family.
I got paid $800 for my first scene that took 4-6 hours to shoot, which I found out was an average time for a shoot.
My first scene was one of the worst experiences of my life. It was very scary. It was a very rough scene. My agent didnít let me know ahead of time. I did it and I was crying and they didnít stop. It was really violent. He was hitting me. It hurt. It scared me more than anything. They wouldnít stop. They just kept rolling. They lied and told me they would stop but rough scenes with women are good footage they said.
The scenes you see in porn arenít fun at all and certainly doesnít fee good at all. You just d it. They donít care about no matter how big in porn you are. To be blunt, shooting a scene is not easy for the girls. Itís not enjoyable. Itís not a great time. Girls are getting hurt. Itís emotionally and physically trying. If you knew what people were going through, you wuldnít like it as much. You wuldnít watch it if you had to see everything. Itís just brutal sex t make porn companies rich.
Even though a lot of girls use drugs, the only thing I used was weed mostly to get through it. Drugs are huge. If porn is so great, why do people need Xanax, Vicodin, pot, and alcohol to do it? Because itís painful. Itís unnatural since it isnít intimacy at all and the guys use Viagra. They are huge but use it to stay hard for those 4-6 hours of a shoot.
The money you make goes right back into prn. You dnít realize it but it does for tanning, nails, basically trying to look pretty when you are anything but inside. Thatís why women who leave porn leave with nothing.
I left the ďglamorousĒ porn life in June, 2007. Itís hard for me to be loved, be intimate at all. Porn hurt me physically but also hurt me inside. I didnít want to hurt anymore. I didnít want my heart to hurt anymore. I even thought I was a lesbian for a while. I have a boyfriend now; itís hard for us, trying to put it all behind me. I feel guilt; Iím so jaded. I want t g back to Pittsburgh and be with my daughter and am working on starting a clothing line. I believe in Jesus and believe God is pulling me out.
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